Michelle Tillis Lederman, the author of The 11 Laws of Likability, is the founder of Executive Essentials, a company that provides executive coaching among other services. Lederman writes this book out of a stunning realization she had — wanting to be liked is a good thing. In fact, Lederman argues that networking is nothing more than being your authentic, likable self.
One of the strongest chapters in this book focused on likability in conversation, and it dealt with details like body language, curiosity, and open-ended questions. I particularly like Lederman’s suggestion that we ask “How come?” instead of “Why?” because the latter automatically puts the listener on the defensive.
I appreciated how well Lederman mixed suggestion and story, teaching and illustrating. The interspersed stories were great for sparking thought and reflecting on how each chapter applies to my own life. The book is helpful for giving the reader a mental framework in which to understand networking, but it is weaker when providing specific suggestions for how to network.
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Tags: networking
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church
– Ephesians 5:25-29, ESV
Last week, I confessed that I am far too quick to find the sin in my wife’s life, far too slow to confess the sin in mine. I have repented of that tendency and spent the week working to focus my eyes inward and not first upon my wife’s sin.
I did not mean to suggest that men and women intentionally blind themselves to sin they see in their spouse. That post was a personal corrective, reminding me to focus first on my own heart. There is a proper place, however, for graciously and lovingly pointing out sin you see in the lives of other believers, particularly your spouse.
The passage I quoted last week, from Matthew 7, tells us to first focus on the log in our own eye, and to then turn to the speck in theirs. It does not say to forever focus solely on your own eye. Paul, too, often teaches believers to confront other believers with their sin.
The same applies to husbands and wives. It is entirely appropriate to point out the sin you see in your spouse, but it is vital that you do so with grace and love, having first evaluated your own heart.
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In contrast to the unusually long title, the chapters in What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him are concise and powerful, each providing a theological and seasoned illustration of biblical manhood. The chapters are the outgrowth of Byron’s experiences as a young man, his years of fatherhood, and his role as a leader of men as pastor of a Nashville church.
Byron’s wisdom shines forth most wonderfully in his chapters on confidence and sex. In the latter instance, Byron speaks powerfully into a Christian culture that alternatively demonizes sex and obsesses over it. His words are timely and encouraging, reminding the reader of God’s beautiful design for sex and its proper role in life.
The book’s audience is not clear, as some of its sections seem directed to young men and others to fathers, but that makes it readable by all. Additionally, Byron seems to picture all men as fitting one mold — outgoing, sports-loving, meat eaters; and some of his sentences reflect that bias. But those two criticisms are minor, and they do nothing to detract from a great book that is a valuable contribution to the Church’s understanding of how to raise godly men.
I commend the book to men of all ages, whether single or married, father or not. Byron portrays manhood in its biblical glory, reflecting Christ’s leadership, submission, and worship of the Father.
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Tags: fatherhood
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
– Matthew 7:3-5, ESV
Marriage has taught me many things I thought I already knew. It has shown me that I am sinful. It has taught me that I am very selfish. I have learned how blessed it is to marry a wonderful wife.
Marriage has taught me another truth — that I am prone to find the speck in anyone else’s eye, rather than letting God perform surgery on the log in mine. That natural bent shows itself most clearly in marriage, because that union lets me know another person far deeper than ever before. To know her nearly as well as I know myself.
Selfish man that I am, with that deep knowledge of my wife comes a quick tendency to notice every sinful error. I can see the smallest fault. Can notice the tiniest speck.
Next week, I’ll write a post explaining that there is a difference between noticing sin and noticing less-than-ideal habits and address that difference. But today, I am convicted of my sinful tendency to point out the speck in my wife’s eye, before dropping to my knees to confess the plank in my own.
So, darling, I’m sorry. Very sorry. This week, I’ll try to confess more. To pray more often. To remember that I’m not an optometrist.
—-
Photo courtesy of Christopher Octa (Creative Commons)
“His name is Jacob. And I’m Marlee Ebenezer.”
With overt similarities to the classic Christmas carol, A Marriage Carol paints a picture of a failing marriage and one woman’s lesson in what it takes for a marriage to survive. Marlee and her husband begin the story on their way to the divorce lawyer, on Christmas eve, on their twentieth anniversary, before unexpected circumstances get in the way. While the book isn’t written primarily to Christians, the authors’ faiths comes through in their characters; but the larger message is about marital relationships, rather than Christian faith.
I loved this book for its simple story and powerful emotions. The reader walks away from this book with a renewed commitment to taking the small steps to strengthen their marriage. There is none of the sledgehammer approach that is common to relationship books, and the story tugs so strongly at the reader’s heart that the authors never have to lecture.
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During morning devotions, I’m reading A. W. Tozer’s The Pursuit of God. Tozer is one of my favorites, and his passion for knowing the Lord deeply encourages me each morning.
Today, I read of the recent shift in Christian thought that makes it possible to believe we are okay with passing knowledge of God, rather than passionate, individual pursuit of Him. Tozer wrote, “How tragic that we in this dark day have had our seeking done for us by our teachers.”
Much like my recent post about reading Scripture, Tozer’s words serve as a reminder that all of Christian history has shown a deep need for a personal knowledge of God, rather than our modern tendency to content ourselves with hearing a 30 minute sermon every Sunday.
Perhaps you’re like me. I am quick to read those words and reassure myself with the knowledge that I read Scripture on my own every morning, so I’m not one of those Tozer writes about. But Tozer didn’t just say that we have had our Scripture reading done for us by our teachers. He said that we have done our seeking done by teachers, and I need to ask whether I am seeking God in the quiet of my heart. Am I, as Tozer wrote elsewhere, hunting for a lonely place where I can seek God in prayer?
—-
Photo courtesy of Chris Yarzab (Creative Commons)
Tags: tozer
I closed the book, found my car keys, and drove to Barnes & Noble to buy the second part of this trilogy. I couldn’t wait for Amazon Prime’s two-day shipping; I needed to start the sequel sooner than that.
I had hardly put the book down by the time my wife picked it up. She stayed up until 1 reading it. She loves it. I’m not sure that I’ll finish the second book soon enough for her.
Yes, The Hunger Games is in the young adult genre — Amazon recommends it for Grade 7 and up. Yes, I felt judgmental eyes wondering at my choice in literature as I read on the train. But yes, you will enjoy this book.
Don’t assume the popularity is a passing fad. Ms. Collins has written a fantastic tale for all ages.
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My wife and I live in a high-rise apartment complex. One of those with a “fitness room” — a couple treadmills, a stationary bike, and some other scattered equipment. Every few days, I see the apartment staff taking another prospective resident on a fitness room tour. I say tour, although it really amounts to walking inside the door, saying, “Here’s our fitness room,” and walking out.
As I watched yet another disinterested soul take that tour today, I realized that they never come back. Except for this time of year — just after New Year’s resolutions — the fitness room is eerily quiet. The best of intentions aren’t enough to keep people coming back regularly, so the quick tour is the only introduction most residents get to the fitness room.
And here’s the cheesy analogy, the one that convicted my heart. How often is the same thing true of my quick tour of the Bible on Sundays? At the start of each week, I sit in the pews and am blessed to hear Scripture proclaimed and explained. But how often is that my only introduction? Am I content to let my guide show me the room, or do I make regular use of it? Do I settle for hearing how the Bible has impacted my pastor, or do I beg God daily to pierce me to the division of soul and spirit?
So my wife and I are committing to read the Bible every morning, to read the book cover-to-cover this year. Will you?
You can buy a One Year Bible, listen daily to Scripture, add a daily reminder to Google Calendar, or even read 10 chapters a day with Tim Challies. With so many options, will you make this the year you read through the Bible?
——
Photo courtesy of Jennifer C. (Creative Commons)
To Jill,
Merry Christmas
With lots of love,
Mom
12-25-2004
I found that inscription inside the last book I opened. In case it isn’t clear, I’m not Jill.
Jill sold the book to me on Amazon. There aren’t any other markings in the book. No words are highlighted. Jill took no notes.
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Tags: gifts
I am setting goals for the upcoming year with the hope that I’ll be more productive, more efficient, and more focused. Generally, my goals center on my faith, my marriage, my career, and my hobbies. While I could have divided the goals up that way, I chose to split them up into quantifiable and non-quantifiable goals. This way, I can check back monthly to see how well I’ve been doing on my quantifiable goals.
1) Read through the Bible – Rachel and I began a yearly reading plan at the start of December, so we got to read the final books of the Old and New Testaments this month. I want to keep up the habit of early mornings with exercise, coffee, and devotions. If we do that, we’ll have read through the entire Bible by the end of November.
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