How to Build a Great Marriage

Build a Great MarriageMy little sister is getting married on Saturday.

It’s hard to believe. I remember her as a little kid. And dancing around the house after ballet lessons. I remember her falling asleep at the table, when our parents wouldn’t let her leave until every vegetable was gone.

I remember her first year of high school, meeting lots of new people and learning who she was. Going to prom a couple years later. I remember the boyfriends — some we liked, some we didn’t.

More recently, I remember living with her after she graduated from college. I’ll always treasure the memory of that year. It was great to see her as an adult, as a peer. I’ll always be grateful that I had that year to get to know my sister as an adult. To see that she’s grown into a wonderful young woman.

What I’ve Learned

So now, as my wife and I prepare to fly back to Texas for the wedding, I’m thinking about what it takes to build a great marriage. I’m trying to piece together thoughts, to compile suggestions I’d offer to the newlyweds.

I’ve learned several lessons in our first year of marriage:

So I’ve learned a little, but I still have a long way to go.

What Do You Suggest for a Great Marriage?

What advice would you have for my sister? What would you tell someone going into their first year of marriage? How can she build a great marriage?

Photo Credit: teo_ladodicivideo (Creative Commons)

Google Ad

  • Chris

    Have fun. Enjoy being young. Be boy and girl for kicks and giggles in between the seriousness of daily life and pursuit of Christ.

  • Jenl8705

    I love you, brother.

  • Megan Willome

    Tell her that after 20 years of marriage she will realize that she cannot answer the question, and that she’ll want another 20 or so to try and answer it. 

  • Josh

    My wife and I pray for 40 or more, and I’m sure at that point we won’t have the answer. You’re very right.

  • Josh


  • Josh

    Good points, Chris.

  • Anita Mathias

    To recognise that no human being is perfect, including your spouse!! To give thanks for their good points when you are annoyed by their failings!

  • Josh

    That’s a great point, Anita. It’s too natural for me to want to hold my wife to a perfect standard, and it’s important to remember that we’re all sinful and in need of grace. But I love your point about giving thanks for their strengths when you’re frustrated. Thanks for your comment.

  • Tejas

    I’d say to protect against excessive expectations. Often times, we get into amazing, happy things like marriages expecting it to be something far greater than it is (especially during the honeymoon phase). Eventually, when things settle down and everyday life gets a hold of us, we get bored and disappointed. My advice would be to be “in the moment” and not have dreams of grandure. I hope that’s helpful! 

  • Josh

    So true. Excessive expectations can be brutal in marriage. Thanks!

  • Pingback: Surprised by Oxford by Carolyn Weber - Quieted Waters